Hope in Affliction and Sorrow

I am behind in various things. One of the areas where I fell behind was getting a blog out on October 23. For the past three years I’ve written a blog that honored the anniversary date of Mother’s death. The blog always centers on the last hour I spent with Mother on the day she died. And, it centers on something else: God and His Word.

I spent almost a month in Texas that October. Three of those weeks were at Mother and Daddy’s house. Mother had battled with Alzheimer’s disease for 8 years. She was in her final days. Hospice kept saying we didn’t have much time left with her. Most of the time during those last weeks, she was peaceful, there was very little pain. What a blessing that was.

Every morning after I awoke, I’d go into her room and check on her. Usually Daddy was still asleep in his bed next to her hospital bed, so I’d slip back out, go grab a cup of coffee and return to my room to spend quiet moments with God. However, on this particular morning four years ago, Daddy woke up early and went on into the den to read the paper. Since I wasn’t interrupting his sleep, I decided to just sit there with Mother.

For some reason, I opened my Bible to Psalm 119. And, for some reason I decided to read it out loud. It’s a long Psalm, but I read it all. I tired of sitting pretty quickly, so I walked around her room and read. I’d read sections at a time and then pray. These were powerfully sacred moments. They are moments I will never forget. Just as I finished the last verse, she took her last breath. At that moment her spirit left this earth and she was in the presence of her beloved Jesus.

A part of honoring Mother’s going “home to Jesus day”, is reading again the 176 verses of Psalm 119. I read these verses always anticipating that there will be a theme that will leap off of the pages. This year the theme is affliction and sorrow. The Psalmist knows life has afflictions and sorrows. He has first hand knowledge. He knows where help is found: The Word of God.

  • My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word.
  • My soul melts away for sorrow: strengthen me according to your word.
  • This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.
  • I am severely afflicted; give me life, O Lord, according to your word!
  • Trouble and anguish have found me out, but your commandments are my delight.

We can be laid low in the dust as we grieve the death of precious loved ones. But, there are other things that bring intense sorrow and affliction too: exhaustion, burnout, confusion, broken relationships, shame, loneliness, debilitating illness, divorce, natural disasters, shattered dreams, job losses, addictions, sin, aging. The list could go on and on. Sorrow and affliction bring chaos and heart pain that can be indescribable. We’re never ready for these life altering events. We may find ourselves asking these questions: How will I get through this? Is there any hope? Will I ever find comfort?

Because of God, there is help. There is comfort. There is hope. His light will burst back through and lift us up from our broken state. It’s a given that we have seasons of suffering, but God in His marvelous goodness lifts us out of our despair. He uses His Word to give us back what seems has been lost for a season: The Joy of our salvation, Peace that passes all understanding, abundant Grace that keeps our eyes on Him.

As I’m passing through a new affliction, not having any idea of where this journey will take me, I cling to Jesus. I cling to hope. I cling to comfort from the Word, especially these words from Psalm 23: His rod and His staff, they comfort me.

What are some words of comfort you cling to during seasons of affliction?

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Always Present-It Matters!

 

Tennessee has now been my home for 23 years. I was born in Texas and didn’t leave until I was 25, which means I’m still a Texas girl at heart. The saying “you can take a girl out of Texas, but can’t take Texas out of the girl” surely rings true for me. With family in Texas, I periodically make trips out there.

A couple of weeks ago I made a trip to Amarillo to spend some time with my dad. With no direct flight from Nashville, I had a layover in Dallas. As I checked in at the gate to board the plane, a very quick encounter with a friendly Southwest agent helped me experience the importance of a name. On that day, it was my name that had importance.

It was really a little thing, but it made me feel that I mattered. I was present, really present, in someone’s eyes who didn’t even know me. What did he do? He said my name. “Have a good flight, Kristi,” he said. This agent took the time to actually look at my name on my boarding pass, then look at me and actually say my name. In those brief moments, he was present. He did this for everyone when he scanned their boarding pass.

I couldn’t help but think of how God is always present with us. We matter to Him. He is always attentive to us. He knows our names. Isaiah 41:16 declares, “Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” Isaiah 43:1 proclaims, “I have called you by name, you are mine.” His presence – what a gift!

I also know that in order for spiritual growth to happen in me, I must be attentive to Him. And His desire is for me to also be attentive to others that are in my life, no matter how brief that encounter may be. Being fully present for each person in my path is a gift I can offer. Is this easy? Absolutely not! It’s so easy to be partially present with others and partially present with God. My mind easily drifts away to many other things. It can happen so quickly. I can be completely unaware.

There are many ways we can practice being present with God and with others. The first step to living fully in the moment with God, and with those precious ones he places in our lives, is discovering what distracts us from really being present. It’s a courageous and selfless act to place ourselves in the position of this kind of self-awareness. We may not like what we see. And, we may not want to put forth the effort it takes to embrace what we find. But, it is worth it. There’s great joy and inner peace to be found in this place. This is living out being a part of Christ’s Kingdom work here on Earth.

What are common distractions that keep you from being present with God and with others? What occasional distractions impact your life and throw you off track (out of presence)? Maybe some are yearly or seasonal. Name some of them. What can you learn through them?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Every June I have the incredible blessing of spending the morning with some children who are attending Vacation Bible School. This special morning occurs on Thursday, the morning after the children have heard the simple, yet profound message of the Cross, from the Children’s pastor.

In this message the children hear the reason God sent His perfect Son, Jesus, to die on the Cross. It was because of Love. Man’s brokenness, which the Bible calls sin, separated us from God. The remedy for restoration with God is Jesus. He is the bridge from God to us.

It’s impossible to be restored to God without understanding sin and understanding that all of us have missed the mark which is perfection. I don’t know about you, but I know about me and I am far from perfection!

There are children who, after hearing the Message of the Cross, want to know more. They want to know how they personally can be in a right relationship with God, through Jesus. Those with these questions are given the opportunity to have a one to one conversation with someone who can provide some of the answers they’re searching for. That’s where I came in . . .

In one conversation with a young girl, I asked, “What are some ways we can and do sin?” I was quite stunned when this young girl said, “Oh, one thing I do is take two hours to do my homework.”

I was ready to jump in and say, “Oh, dear one, that’s not a sin!” But, something told me to just sit and listen. She went on to say that she really could get her homework done a lot quicker. She just didn’t want to. I got kind of bold using this word, but I threw it out anyway. I said, “So, it’s rebellion?” She didn’t bat an eye when she said, “Yes. That’s what it is.”

Out of the mouth of babes I was shown what depth and insight a fifth grader can have. I was reminded through this young girl that that’s the best descriptive word there is for sin: rebellion.

Again, I think of the lesson Jesus was trying to teach adults when He said, “Come to me as little children.” I realized at that moment that children can be a lot more sensitive to understanding that something is not quite right with the human heart. And, we need a rescuer to save us from ourselves.

The Rescuer is Jesus! There is only one way to get it right with God. We must admit we are separated from Him because of our sin and then put our total faith in Jesus who died on the cross. I’m so glad death has lost its sting. It lost its sting because Jesus rose from the dead so that all who put their faith in Him will live with Him forever. Forever begins the moment we put our belief in Him. What a joy it was to look into the eyes of a precious child whose abundant forever began yesterday when she confessed with her mouth that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

How about you? Has your abundant forever begun?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grief-A Hard Journey

 

 

It’s good having people in our lives who frequently ask, “How are you really doing?” I’m grateful for family and friends who take me as I am today no matter where I am emotionally. It is hard to admit where these weeks of May 2018 have taken me emotionally, but I know I must.

I remember calling a beloved friend of my sister’s on the day she died, May 26, 2017. I cried out these words, “I didn’t think it would hurt this badly!” She said, “I know.” She did know and she understood. She, too, had lost a cherished younger sibling to the enemy of cancer.

I didn’t think it would hurt this badly because I knew, as did my sister Kimberly, and others knew, that she was going to lose this earthly battle with this wretched disease. I thought somehow that this knowing would help me be more prepared to tell her bye and to accept it, but it didn’t. I also thought that because we are a family of Jesus followers who know beyond a shadow of a doubt that when we take our last earthly breath that the next breath will be in Heaven with Jesus that my grief wouldn’t be so intense. But it was.

All in all, I believe I’ve walked this journey of grief in a good and healthy way. It’s been a hard journey, but with God’s care and the help of family and friends, I think I’ve done pretty well. Joy returned. I went with a friend to her cabin in the Smoky Mountains in April. I laughed and shared funny stories about Kimberly with her. I remember thinking, “Kristi, you’re doing quite well! It’s nearly been a year and look at you! You’ve hardly shed any tears during the last weeks. You are in such a good place.” But then, May rolled in. The first week of May I was off on an overseas mission trip. The trip was full of good, life-giving activity. Again, I thought how nice it was that I was doing so well. Then, unexpectedly, during the second week of May grief grabbed me again. I thought it would hold off until this week. It didn’t.

Sunday my pastor took his sermon from Matthew 18, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” He said we are to be child-like, not childish, which means we are to have a child-like faith that comes from humility. This is being totally God-dependent.

On my way home, grief punched me in the gut again. With tears rolling down my face, I knew I was going into a place that seemed very childish. And, in all honesty, I knew God could take it. My heart was throwing a temper tantrum before God as I cried out, “I want my sister back. I miss her so much. This hurt and pain is awful!” A child’s needs are to be met by parents. I know as a parent, I did not always meet my children’s needs in a perfect and loving way, but my Heavenly Father meets His children’s needs in a lovingly perfect and right way. He lovingly listens, He lovingly shows patience. He lovingly shows He understands. He knows I am weak and frail. I admit my weakness and frailty. Perhaps it’s in the admitting of my childishness that I can grow deeper into that child-like faith. When a child falls, the parent reaches down and lifts them up. That’s exactly what my Father God is doing for me today: He’s lifting me back up, and He will do it again and again. Of that I am sure.

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” Psalm 40:2-3

A Transformational Tool That Has Impacted My Life

                                                                                                                                                                   Photo courtesy of Rfitzel.com

Personality theories have always intrigued me. A few years ago my daughter introduced me to a new personality typology. I thought, “Why not learn more about this one, too.” This particular typology has a strange name— the Enneagram. Of course, she had to spell it for me and pronounce it quite a few times before I could even come close to getting it right. She signed up for an all day teaching on this odd sounding personality study and invited me to go with her.

I left pretty overwhelmed that day. You see, this is a typology that identifies more than just those nice strong characteristics that work for good in our lives when we use them in the way God intends. It also identifies negatives qualities that can show up: the sinful part, our lower nature, which we all have. I was pretty uncomfortable. I left that day with more questions than answers. I left that day pretty down on myself. Surely those negative characteristics in what was looking like “my number”, “my space” weren’t true! Well . . . they are there. I wanted to hide.

However, something significant took place that day. My daughter and I went to a deeper place of connection in our relationship. We talked. We cried. We asked for forgiveness from one another. We gave it to one another. We now have more understanding and compassion toward one another. We have more grace towards one another because we understand ourselves and each other better.

We discovered we each look at life and even at each other through a different lens. Many of us believe others see things in life just like we do and if they don’t then we believe they’re wrong and we’re right. That’s not necessarily true. I’m very grateful for the new discoveries I continue making about myself, about others, and about God through using the tool of the Enneagram. There’s spiritual wisdom to be found in this ancient typology system. It’s leading me closer to God.

In my journey of studying the Enneagram I ran across this quote by John Calvin. “Nearly all wisdom we possess, true and sound wisdom, consists in two parts: the knowledge of God and of ourselves. No one can truly know God without knowing oneself and one couldn’t truly know oneself without knowing God. Which one precedes and brings forth the other is not easy to discern.”

God uniquely and beautifully designed each of us. Unfortunately, sin marred God’s perfect design. Placed in the perfect Garden of Eden, the first man used the gift of choice and chose to disobey God. But, God in His perfect love sent us a Rescuer who redeems. His name is Jesus.

The Enneagram is a great tool that can help us confront those things in our lives that Jesus wants to redeem and transform. I love what Eugene Peterson says: “In His love, Jesus, diagnoses what is unique in us. He understands the precise ways in which things have gone wrong, and diagnoses the particular aberrations that have seeped into our lives, and then He mercilessly saves us from them. Jesus’ love awakens the sleeping parts of our lives to the colors and delights of eternal life. This waking is not without pain or difficulty or struggle. Being awake requires more energy than sleeping. There is also the possibility of more pain. Sleeping people don’t suffer.”

We can be asleep at the wheel of our lives and stop growing in our relationship to God, with each other, and in relationship to ourselves, which includes knowing what is going on in those deeper recesses of our hearts. This is a part of spiritual transformation. There is pain and struggle involved, but it moves us to a deeper place of flourishing that is joy-filled, love-filled, and peace filled

God is using the tool of the Enneagram to make me more aware of who I am: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Each day God reveals more of Himself to me through the Holy Scriptures and through His Spirit.

Roberto Assaglio aptly describes spiritual transformation: Spiritual development is a long and arduous journey, an adventure through strange lands full of surprises, joy, beauty, difficulties, and even dangers.”

I can honestly say the past year included all of those things. It’s included grief like I’ve never known before, Biblical study in a way I’d never done before, obedience to God in areas that surprised me and stretched me, deeper connections in relationships with family and friends because of my own spiritual growth, and the opportunity for deeper training in understanding the Enneagram through an exceptional Enneagram coach. That training has opened doors for me to coach others using the Enneagram, too.

I’m learning how to truly love God, others and myself (Romans 13:8, Galatians 5:14, 22-23). The journey is just beginning! In coming blogs, I’ll share more of the transformation God is doing in me and, I trust, you’ll be challenged and encouraged, too. Are you in a growth process? How has God been transforming you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Passion that Changed the World

 

 

There are things said to us in life that we never forget. Some of these words spoken are good for our souls. They are life-giving. But, some words hurt our hearts and cause us to bleed for a while.

Many years ago I had a part-time job that was helping us get by financially. What should have been a life-giving environment was not. When I received my yearly evaluation I was rather stunned when out in the margin was the question, “Is this your passion?” I was offended by that question. I felt unfairly judged by this fellow pilgrim. We never had a chance to discuss what she had written out in the margin. The evaluator and I definitely had different perspectives on some things.

However, something positive resulted from this. I did some introspection and asked myself, “What are your passions, Kristi.” I didn’t have much trouble coming up with them. When I did, I knew they were the right ones for me in that season of life. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines passion as a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something.

My passions revealed my priorities and they were spot on. I didn’t have to feel guilt for not being passionate about the job I had at that particular time in my life especially when it was full of difficult stresses. But it was helping provide for some needs in my family and that lined up well with a passion concerning my family which was finding a way to live debt-free. Our passions may change over time. A passion can flame up for a while and then pass.

There’s another kind of passion that I investigated through my recent study of Romans. It is the passion of Christ.

When we speak of the “passion” of Christ, we speak of his suffering. Jesus had no “excitement” about the cross. Death on a cross was likely the most horrific death ever experienced. The physical suffering on the cross alongside the emotional and spiritual suffering of bearing the sins of all mankind are of such a magnitude that is beyond imagination.

But in his suffering, Jesus did find joy! Hebrews 12:2 challenges us to fix our eyes on Jesus, “the source and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” What was the joy before Jesus? Perfectly obeying the Father, for sure, but also, I believe Jesus had joy because he saw your salvation and mine! Jesus’ passion changed the world.

Because of the cross and resurrection death lost its sting and we are given all we need to live abundantly now with hope, power, love, comfort, joy, and courage. He gave His all so that those who trust in Him can really live.

Today, Easter 2018, is a great time to revisit what we’re passionate about. Do our passions honor and please the Savior who suffered and gave His all so we could really live? Do our passions include using the unique giftedness God has placed within us? Our passions make known what we love. If our “loves” are wrongly placed, it’s never too late to let the old go and replace with something new. It’s the best way to live.

 

 

 

Thinking in Threes: It Makes a Difference

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I attended a couple’s retreat. The theme was “Be Refreshed”. It was a delightful couple of days hearing different speakers share the importance of being refreshed in our souls, marriages, ministries and other areas of our lives. The men and women met together for many of the sessions, but we had two separate breakouts. Mike shared his notes from the men’s session with me. Don’t we all love to hear someone speak whose presentation is full of good “take away’s”. His was.

The topic for this particular breakout session was “Be Refreshed in Your Soul.” Our soul is our mind, our will, our emotions. The speaker for the men, Tony Rankin, had many practical suggestions in the area of mind refreshment. It’s hard to find times of refreshment during the day when we have a list a mile long of things to get done. Tony suggested taking that list, but limiting ourselves to thinking about and only doing three things on the list at a time. When a set of three is done, then take a break, maybe a 5-10 minute break. Then, start on the next three things.

I like this idea. This week I thought I’d give this a try. I tweaked it just a bit for me. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with life, so on my blank, small piece of paper I wrote down only three things. That made it more manageable. By the end of the day it brought great satisfaction to look at the many “threes” that were completed. The last set of three’s wasn’t completed, but it really didn’t matter since I could look back and see the other “three’s” that were completed.

Thinking in three’s can actually be something quite spiritual. The number three is significant in the Bible. It’s used hundreds of times. It seems to be the number of completion and perfection. My life has been and continues being changed by these “three’s”:

  • The Trinity: God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Where would I be without having a personal relationship with God the Father through His perfect son, Jesus? Where would I be without the abiding power of the Holy Spirit who is at work in me, through me, and around me?
  • The death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ means I can now live free from the power of sin and death. This is available to all who have put their faith and trust in the One who gave His all so we can truly live. Acts 17:28 says, “In Him we live and move and have our being.”
  • Our design as made by our Creator God – body, soul, and spirit. We are created as image bearers of the one Master Designer. This is who we are. We are His workmanship

The plan of working in “three’s” is quite practical. I may get to the end of the day and find that I’ve checked off most things in those sets of threes. In most cases, if something is left undone, we are gifted with the newness of the next day to complete what was left unfinished.

Additionally, there is an important question I must ask myself when I look at that list. How many things were centered on self and how many on others? If it’s way out of balance, I need to do some re-prioritizing in my life.

Recently I got to the end of the day – much was accomplished. Then I saw a word on one of my lists of three’s that didn’t get done . . . a word I really don’t like very much. I saw the word iron. It hadn’t gotten done.

In reality, I didn’t have to do that ironing. My husband has plenty of clean shirts to wear, but it was something I could do and wanted to do because I love him. It was an opportunity to die to self in a real practical way. Making a deliberate focus on serving others a part of my daily planning will be a huge blessing to me and others. I sense that more will be accomplished, too.

If fullness of life comes from living and moving in a way that honors the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, then the days that make up our lives will be days that delight the Father. These kinds of days bring us joy, peace, satisfaction and a sense of completeness in Him. They are days of productive fruit-bearing.

Going Barefooted–Preparing for Advent

                

 

One of my favorite movies of all time is Australia. I saw it on the big screen three times, then we bought our own copy. Now one of our traditions is to watch it once a year, usually around Christmas. Last week, on a cozy winter’s night we curled up on the couch to watch this favorite.

Australia has a little bit of everything: Incredible drama, war, jealousy, revenge, hatred, prejudice and fear. It also has love, tenderness, longing to belong and longing to know who you really are. I was brought up with Westerns so that explains why I even get goose bumps all over during the incredible cattle stampede.

The story centers on the relationship of Nullah, a little Aboriginal boy, and a British woman, Lady Sarah Ashley. Lady Sarah arrives from England and discovers that her husband has been murdered on his ranch, Far Away Downs. To save the ranch, they have to “drove” 1500 head of cattle to the port.

It’s on the ranch that she meets Nullah and his mother. After Nullah’s mother dies, Lady Sarah is thrust into being a surrogate mother. A woman with no experience with children discovers a love she’d never known: the love of a mother and child.

This British woman who now regards this little Aborigine as an adopted son tends to dress him in typical British boy clothing. Although Nullah has everything he could possibly want in his new family, he knows something is missing. He doesn’t understand who he really is.

You see, Nullah is a mixed-race aboriginal child. One time he says, “I not white fella. I not black fella. I half-cast. I belong to nobody.” He longs for that missing piece to be found and he knows that missing piece can only be found in going Walkabout with his Aboriginal grandfather.

At the end of the movie, much to Lady Sarah’s dismay, he reconnects with his grandfather to go on this journey of discovering who he really is. This time of Walkabout will be where he will find his identity as he uncovers his traditional and spiritual roots.

The British clothes he’d now become accustomed to wearing, wouldn’t work for the nomadic wanderings in the wilderness with his grandfather. They would restrict the freedom needed for this journey. He has to shed what will weigh him down before he goes to the Outback. He sheds his shirt and then, in a moment of true abandon, he throws off his shoes. He went into the wilderness bare-footed.

Four years ago my daughter gave me a book “The Greatest Gift-Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas” by Ann Voskamp. Now each December I use this book for my Advent reading. I just read: “Walk barefoot a bit through your last days of Advent.”

In the margin of that page where I saw those words I wrote the question : What does this really mean for me? How can I do this? I so desire to shed those things that can keep me from experiencing the spiritual treasures that God longs to give me in the days leading up to Christmas. Here’s what I’m working on shedding:

  • I’m shedding myself of any kind of performance trap or comparison trap
  • Shedding perfectionistic tendencies that drive me to “gotta go and get, gotta go and do, gotta, gotta gotta” This drains me and means there is no time to be present in stillness with God and no quality time in being present with my precious family and friends.
  • Shedding burdens and expectations so I can enjoy the what “is” and the great “Who IS”

The amazing thing is that these are riddances that God desires for me. I won’t rid myself perfectly of them, but God is with me along the way. His Son, His Spirit are cheering me on and I’m experiencing some of the best peace I’ve ever known.

How about you? How can you walk barefoot these last days of Advent? Remember, you just might be walking on holy ground, such a good place to land.

Two Important Questions

 

How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me? This is the first line of a song written by Andre Crouch: To God Be the Glory. Yes, it’s impossible to ever say it enough, but I need to live my life trying.

As I think about living a life of thanksgiving, I can’t help but think of the last month of my sister’s life. She was a woman on the go pretty much till she took her final earthly breath. She’d texted these words to many of us two weeks prior to that day: “I ain’t down yet!” And, she wasn’t.

Kimberly and I had a phone conversation a month before she stepped into eternity that I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget it because she asked me a question that shocked me. It shocked me because it was coming from someone whose life was fading because of terrible cancer. Her question was, “Have you ever felt like God was giving you the desires of your heart?”

I think I kind of stumbled around trying to formulate my answer. I said, “I guess so, but many times those desires aren’t material but spiritual.” I was having trouble with her question because we’d prayed so much for her healing over many years and it wasn’t being answered the way we wanted. That was the main desire of my heart and I know it was hers. And yet it seemed she was living on a different and higher plane than I by asking me that question. Now I can’t help but wonder if she already had one foot in Heaven. She probably did.

Kimberly went on telling me many things God was giving her and doing for her. I was blown away by what she was saying and with the joyful attitude she was saying it. So, I asked her for a favor. I asked if she would write down these blessings in a journal so she could share them in person with me since I was going out to see her soon.

A few days later I got a text from her saying she was just going to text these blessings to me. These are some of the things she wrote the last weeks of her earthly life:

  • Today I am SO blessed! This is the day the Lord has made! I’m having coffee in bed. I slept 7 hours!
  • Today I’m really resting. I’m in bed with pillows propped up, have a food tray, TV remote in hand that “I” control, Jesus going before me like a hurricane!
  • Today I’m headed to Arkansas for a wedding. I got a portable breathing machine. My breathing is 100% better!
  • God keeps doing so much for ME minute by minute. “I will sing to the Lord because He has dealt bountifully with me.” God is in control!
  • I’m having a fun snack: chocolate chip cookies, lime potato chips.
  • Let us rejoice because JOY is in this morning

How was she able to live her last days with this kind of joy and attitude? She was joyfully fighting to live and make it to one of the most important days on her calendar – the wedding of her son. She was fighting not with her own strength but with the strength of her beloved Jesus. At the time she said Jesus was going before her like a hurricane I had no idea what that meant. Now I do. She loved contemporary praise music and the song she must have had on her mind was “Fierce” sung by Jesus Culture.

 

Before I call

Before I ever cry you answer me

From where the thunder hides

I can’t outrun this heart I’m tethered to

With every step I collide with You.

Like a tidal wave

Crashing over me

Rushing in to meet me here

Your love is fierce

Like a hurricane that I can’t escape

Tearing through the atmosphere

Your love is fierce.

 

Kimberly experienced Jesus’ powerful love in ways she’d never known before. She had spiritual eyes that could see the Lord Jesus at work in her life during the most difficult journey she’d ever taken. She found joy in that last leg of her journey because of His love – the most powerful energy there is in the Universe.

We can never say thank you enough to the One who gave His all so that we can really live. But we can live trying. It makes a difference in the way we look at our yesterdays. It makes a difference in the way we view today. It makes a difference in the way we view our tomorrow.

Thanksgiving allows joy to take over instead of despair. With the apostle Paul we can say, “Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

 

 

Sacred Moments Always Remembered

 

My mother had Alzheimer Disease for eight years. I live in Tennessee, Mother and Daddy in the Texas Panhandle. During her battle with this disease, I made trips to see her and Daddy once every three months. I wish I could have gone more often, but it’s a long way from Tennessee to Texas. Daddy’s a tough Texan who had the strength to take care of Mother at home until the very end. What a gift he was able to give her.

I was already in Texas with Mother and Daddy, three years ago, when she began her final decline with this cruel disease. God has gifts for us even when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death with those we love. The gift He gave me was that I was there with them during her last days here.

Hospice came regularly. For two weeks they told us her final breath was imminent. God holds the key to life and to death. Only He knows why her lingering was as long as it was. I trust Him in His timing but those were rough days.

The morning of October 23, 2014, I got up about 6:00 and decided to go and sit with her while I spent my devotional time with God. It was one of those mornings I wasn’t sure where to read, but I landed in Psalm 119. It’s a long chapter! 175 verses!

I did something I’d never done before. I read it out loud. I sat awhile and read, I walked awhile and read, I prayed some of these verses over all of our loved ones. Even though her eyes were closed, I knew she heard me and was delighting in the Word of God as I.

The entirety of this Psalm is devoted to the praise and honoring of God’s Word. The room where Mother took her last breath became a sacred sanctuary. The aroma of Jesus filled that place because His presence and His word were with us. His Word gives comfort, gives strength, gives joy, gives hope, gives guidance, gives refreshment, gives wisdom.

Mother took her last breath as I finished reading this Psalm. It was a sacred place.

Every time we worship God in quiet stillness, in reading and meditating upon His Word, and in prayer the place is sacred. There is a blessed communion among Father and child. This Psalm is the place where my eyes will focus on all the October 23rds that are given me by my gracious loving heavenly father who knows my days, and knows your days, too.

Even though there is another sorrow in my life, which is deep and fresh with raw emotion – the loss of my sister – this Psalm tells me: “God’s unfailing love is my comfort. When I’m laid low in the dust, my life can be renewed.” We are told, “Your compassion is great, O Lord; renew my life according to your law”.

What can we all be sure of in our darkest moments? We can be sure that He sees, He knows, He cares, He soothes. And the way to receive these blessings and more is having a heart that hungers enough and loves Him enough to spend time, not only reading His Word, but immersed and consumed by His Word.