Category Archives: Giving Thanks

A Plan for Thriving

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I’ve just finished my annual continuing education course for my Life Coaching certification through Coach Approach Ministry. This course consisted of taking a look at what’s called Positive Psychology. I was kind of leery when I saw the subject matter but I found the material we covered to be extremely beneficial for me personally as well as the people I coach. The reason I was a little uneasy about this was because my first thought was, “Oh, no. Not positive thinking.” And, it definitely was not. Positive Psychology is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives and have the ability to cultivate what is best within themselves. Lasting transformation can take place because of action taking in areas that truly do make a difference in improving one’s well-being. Positive Psychology has been well researched and is backed up through multiple scientific studies. I’m intrigued and encouraged with what the studies have revealed.

We examined the book “Flourish” by Martin Seligman. Dr. Seligman has five elements he teaches that will help us live lives that flourish. They are elements that can improve one’s well-being. These elements are:

  • Positive Emotion
  • Engaging
  • Meaning
  • Positive Relationships
  • Accomplishment

When he teaches Positive Psychology one of the first things he requires of his students is to get a journal that is used for recording three blessings each day. At the end of the day they are to write down three things that went well and the reason it went well. He has seen depression lift when this exercise takes root in people. He does say it is important to stay with it for many months in order for it to really get embedded and make a lasting difference. I love this! It is SO Biblical! All through the Bible there are scriptures that exhort us to give thanks. Having a heart of thanksgiving is truly transformational.

Seligman says engagement is when one is deploying one’s highest strengths and talents to meet the world in what he calls “flow”. He even has a free on-line Signature Strengths Assessment that can be found at www.authentichappiness.org to help us know where our strengths lie so we can practice using these strengths as much as possible.

His third element is meaning. All of us want meaning and purpose in our lives. The way to flourish with meaning is realizing we are a part of something bigger than ourselves. Some of the “bigger than self” places he mentions are religion, political parties, family. That list could go on and on. For me, the two most “bigger than life” places are my relationship with God and my relationship with my family.

This connects perfectly to positive relationships. Christopher Peterson is one of Positive Psychology’s founders and he says, “Positive Psychology is about ‘other people’.” I so agree! Very little that we do in life that brings satisfaction and joy is done alone. Dr. Seligman says that other people are the best antidote to the downs of life and the single most reliable up. He suggests that we frequently practice doing an unexpected kindness for someone. This can totally alter our mood for the better! Jesus called this “servanthood”. It’s to be the norm of the Christian’s life.

The last element is accomplishment. This involves using efforts and skills to achieve a specific goal. I can’t help but think how much better I feel about a day when I look back over it and know I’ve accomplished at least a few things. They may not be huge, change the world things, but I’ve found that just reaching a few small goals can certainly add to my own personal well-being.

Our Creator God designed us to flourish! One of my favorite verses in the Bible is, “I have come so that you may have life and have life more abundantly.” God gifted us with the ability of choice. Each day is a gift and we can choose to put into action the things that will help us thrive, not stagnate. I can live in a place of more abundant living. It will make a positive personal difference. It will make a difference to others. A rippling effect for the positive cannot help but happen.

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Are You Really This Old?

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Well, they didn’t exactly say it this way, but it’s what they meant. It was the question my daddy and sister both asked within the last few weeks as February 7 is quickly approaching. Yes! They’re as surprised as me. I am that old. I received their questions with grace. No, I’m not going into depression that two digits are changing. However, I must admit it jars me and has made me a little blue.

I know I need to have the right attitude about this celebratory event and not forget it, as I would like. I can’t help but remember Sundays at our church when we lived in Caracas, Venezuela. The tradition each Sunday was to ask who had just celebrated birthdays the previous week. Those special people would then walk up to the front to be recognized. They were given the opportunity to say a few words. I will never forget the words spoken by Hermana Maria, who always seemed to be smiling although her life had been filled with tragedy. With a radiant smile on her face she said, “I just want to thank God for allowing me to complete another year of life.” Children learned through these testimonies that God is the giver of life and that life is a gift.

This week I am reminded that I don’t need to be whining about turning two new digits. I am to say, “Thank you Lord for allowing me to complete another year of life. It is a gift.” Just thinking these words bring a smile to my face and put joy in my heart as I remember the multitude of amazing blessings I received this past year. In spite of a year with difficulties, tears, and sorrow there have been countless pockets of joy that found their way into my life because of Jesus, the giver of life, the giver of all things good. He is the author and finisher of my faith who brings light because He is the perfect Light. May we daily walk close to Him always remembering, This is the day the Lord has made. Let us be glad and thankful in it.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

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Man and woman painting wall.

The walls in our bedroom were freshly painted and the color was perfect. Now it was time for the really fun part: painting the baseboards and crown molding. I really hadn’t put a lot of thought in to the type of sheen of the paint we’d be using for the trim. I just took the old can of paint we’d used many years before and told the man I wanted the same color and type of paint from that can. I realized we were using different brands of paint, but didn’t really think that would matter. So, he mixed it up. We began painting. My husband graciously did the crown molding and I did the baseboards. After it dried I realized it was really shiny and I wasn’t too happy about it having such a glossy look on the crown molding.

I found myself feeling very guilty about my discontent and dissatisfaction and felt I was being way too picky. I knew I needed to pray about it, asking God to forgive me for my ungrateful attitude and to help me change it. I thought I’d also verbalize a prayer of thanksgiving which was truly an act of my will. My prayer was: “Thank you God, for that shiny trim.” Then my husband came in and said, “What do you think of the paint job?” Desiring to be honest in our communication, I said, “The trim is a little too shiny for my liking, but it is okay.” He blessed me by replying, “Go buy some more paint. I think it’s too shiny, too.” I was elated! I believe my husband’s understanding and willingness to re-paint what he’d already done was somehow connected to the choice I’d earlier made to be grateful and choose to find contentment in the semi-gloss that really wasn’t too “semi”. I’m also very grateful for a husband whose desire was to please me even if it cost him extra time, energy, and money. And, he did it all with joy!

All situations may not always work out quite as positively as this did, but this was an opportunity to practice being thankful for something I wasn’t happy about. I pray that this kind of thankfulness would become easier for me. I need to grow in realizing that what brought discontent was something of temporal value, not eternal.