One of the biggest struggles a wife may face in her marriage is trying to control her husband. Most women marry their prince charming and then after the romance has worn off she may realize he’s not as perfect as she thought. Of course, her husband may also feel the same way about her.
So, what begins to happen? Those less than perfect qualities turn into big irritations and she begins nagging. She begins mentioning over and over those things that he needs to do or change to meet “her standard.” She may question everything he does. She may compare him to other men. More than likely he will see this as not respecting him as a man, as a leader in the home. She may find ways to manipulate him so she will get what she wants. A marriage cannot grow and thrive when either spouse tries to control the other. Doing things that push a spouse to do things which are really against his or her will can cause great heart ache and will take joy out of marriage. One day not too long ago, I realized that I really didn’t like being told what to do, so is it any wonder my spouse or others don’t like being told what to do either?
I believe it’s perfectly okay to mention something to each other that might need to be done, changed, or improved on to make the marriage and home run smoother. However, it’s toxic to keep mentioning it over and over. I must learn to surrender that desire to God and pray about it. I’ve found that over and over God responds to heart felt prayers for my husband and for my children. He wants our marriages and homes to be places of peace and love that glorify Him. God is the one who can change hearts and homes. He is more than capable of changing those things that need to be changed in me and in him. My responsibility is to let go and trust God with my loved ones and with me.