Kristi Pennington

Photo by Kyle Head on Unsplash

I’m on Pilgrimage with God. It’s a journey of deepening my understanding of His Love for me.

Many years ago, while attending a retreat for Spiritual Directors, I was in a difficult “life chapter”. Practicing daily times of silent reflection with God was a vital part of this retreat. It was a time of listening to the heartbeat of God.

The Curtain opens

On one of those mornings, I vividly remember picturing curtains on a stage with those curtains opening just a bit more while on the retreat. The most important part of that image was knowing that God knew what was written in each scene, and when that specific scene would close. Then, I would be able to move into the next.

It was like seeing my life as a book/play that’s already been written but not having any clue when the next “major” episode would begin. God was the Divine Director who would open up the curtains a bit more to reveal what was next when His timing was right.

God is the Divine Director

Only God knows when a “scene” is closing so the next one can begin. This imagined image of God opening up the curtains gave me comfort. I had been blind-sided with the unfolding parts of some of my story. However, God knew what was going to erupt and when it would erupt. I want Him to be my Divine Director, so it’s up to Him to lead me through.

He has led me well, (although the road has not been easy) and will not stop. Time after time, I’ve found myself powerless over difficult situations that I have no control over. It’s good to know I have the all-powerful God on my side.

Releasing Reveals the next Chapter

I’m beginning to understand that releasing situations, events, people, and even things about myself is when he is most likely to open up the curtains just a bit more. That’s when more light and understanding is revealed.

Last week my Bible reading plan included 1 Samuel 7. God’s people were quaking in their sandals because of the Philistine army that was preparing to attack. Samuel, a prophet of God, begged God to help them not be defeated in the impending battle.

God heard Samuel’s prayer.

God threw confusion among the Philistines in such a way that they were unable to fight, and God’s people won the battle. Through Divine intervention, God won the battle.

Ebenezer

After this victory, Samuel took a large stone and placed it in a specific place and gave it a name: Ebenezer which means stone of help. God was faithful to His people. God acted on their behalf because it thrills his heart when his people call out to Him in humility.

He acts on our behalf, too, if we humble ourselves before Him and give up trying to control anything or anyone at all.

I love the first words from the song, Find Us Faithful by Steve Green, “We’re pilgrims on the journey of the narrow road”.

A pilgrim is one who travels to an unknown place. I’ve been to quite a few unknown places, many of them overseas. I’m a pilgrim. I’m also discovering that just living a daily ordinary life within the confines of a home and community is a pilgrimage. This is especially true for Christ-followers who desire live a life that is in alignment with God’s will for them. It is His will that we purposely engage in daily practices that bring us closer to Him and to others He’s placed in our lives.

The unexpected does happen. We must be anchored to Him to if we want our behaviors, attitudes, and words to reflect the love of Jesus. We want to be spiritually healthy and strong so we must connect to Him through holy practices that foster intimacy.

The path of spiritual pilgrimage is narrow

It’s narrow because “the pilgrim” road takes effort, resoluteness, healthy self-awareness, and sacrificial love. It requires great focus, but it is worth it.

The road He wants you and me to take is one filled with making decisions that bring glory and honor to Him and that align with His character. I’ve discovered a gift is given on this road. It’s the gift of knowing I’m “home”. I’m living in His Kingdom on earth. There’s no better place! This home place is anywhere I am with Him. This is “pilgrimage”.

Eight and a half months ago I heard of a “walking pilgrimage” led by a dear friend of ours. We delight in her because wisdom and grace flow from her. At times she will say things that are challenging and great reflection is required to understand what she is “getting” at. We have been blessed through experiencing her lead us in Spiritual Direction. She is familiar with much of our story. It’s understandable that we were extremely interested in this particular spiritual walking pilgrimage that will take us to some unknown places.

I’m joining an actual pilgrimage

When the invitation came to join her and 14 other pilgrims, we were elated! The invitation came in March. I’ll never forget her saying from the beginning, “The pilgrimage begins now.” The preparation hasn’t been easy. We were given a training schedule which inside I balked at. “I already had my exercise routine, thank you very much! And it’s a good one!”

We’ve been meeting with her and the others on this pilgrimage once a month via zoom. One of her favorite questions to our group is, “Can you name where you are in this part of the journey?” The word that God immediately brought to my mind during our first meeting was “perspective”.

A changed perspective

I needed a change of perspective. I released my pride and followed what seasoned travelers knew was needed to be physically prepared. The days that followed, God knew other things that needed to be released.

One day a word shimmered for me as I was reading a chapter in Deuteronomy. The word was “rolled”. I had no idea what that word meant for me on that particular day. Soon after, the chorus of an old childhood song came to my mind. “Rolled away, rolled away, rolled away. All the burdens of my heart rolled away.” I had been experiencing heaviness from bad recent memories that at times felt like a gut punch. When I thought of them, my body actually felt physical pain.

Suddenly, I had the desire to find a boulder and roll it down a hill, symbolizing the heaviness being knocked off my shoulders. God led me to a big rock that symbolized this pain. I rolled it down the steep slope in our back yard. It felt good!!

We don’t ignore the hard parts of our story

Now there was more room in my soul for peace and joy to flourish! I love that Dr. April Joy says, “We don’t ignore the hard parts of our story that can still bring pain and sorrow, but we intentionally work at moving our focus more quickly to the character of God.” That is a life changing and life-giving message for me!

Last week the leader of our pilgrimage asked us to think of something we might take on our journey that symbolizes something significant about the present reality in our pilgrimage.

The word that keeps swirling in my head is “celebration”. I will take a birthday candle. Birthdays are something to celebrate. I won’t be celebrating a birthday on this voyage, but I am celebrating all God has been doing during these past months in bringing deeper healing of devastating wounds. This includes meditations and prayers of gratefulness for all the Divine acts of God during the last 8 years.

Celebration in the Midst of Heartbreak

Eight years ago a situation occurred that caused my daddy to stop speaking to me. My heart was broken. I pled with God often to bring reconciliation between us. Six years ago, reconciliation began to take place. With time, the relationship improved immensely which meant we shared some very special and happy times together the last 1 ½ years before he passed into eternity. That’s a big Halleluiah!!

That Halleluiah is growing amazingly larger than the remembered pain! So, on this pilgrimage, I will light a candle and celebrate!

Photo by April Pethybridge on Unsplash

Something Dr. April Joy suggests is having some declarations about God statements. One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 16:6 “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places…”

This means God has directed and led me to where I am now with great care, goodness, and provision. I think on this scripture often throughout my day. I speak it aloud frequently! I will rejoice!

How have you handled your pain?

What acts could you do to symbolize your pain and heartache rolling away?